I will only say these things once because I hate illness. Yet, I became one. Or several actually.
I am an A-type personality. Go-go-GO! That was my motto. Speed was safety and success. It was a drug even. My entire personality is built around the ability to go fast and do a lot. I loved it.
So 13 years ago when the doctor laid “fibromyalgia’ on me as a diagnosis…..well I ignored him and for eight years chased after any touted cure I could find for the disease I couldn’t even spell! It certainly was not going to rule my life.
FM (fibromyalgia) is a disease of the muscles with no cure and no treatments. The muscles fill up with toxins (pus basically) and inflame the muscles which in turn creates daily/hourly/yearly pain without relief. There are many theories of the cause but no effort to find cures because the drug company makes so much money-making drugs to mask the symptoms and pain. When a person has FM they are constantly nauseous, and have vague flu-like symptoms and chronic fatigue. Just what an A-type personality loves!
So after crashing and burning in my ‘cure chasing season’ I finally accepted this lifetime malady just in time to be diagnosed with severe arthritis in the hips and stenosis of the spine which back surgery made even worse.
On a good day my pain is at a 5. I score my pains as the following: 10 is passing out. 9 is chanting “Oh my god, oh my god!” and moaning loudly while writing on the sofa. 8 is when I am yelping, “ok,ok, ok” over and over again, waving my arms in the air. 6 is a deep frown and desire to just be by myself most of the time. 5 is a pesky and perky irritant that is ok if I can find something to keep me busy and moving around. 4 and below is heaven. I have had very few 4-days.
So all posts in this category are born out of this tiny side of my life with all its emotions, tantrums, griefs and fears.
I hate illnesses so I just don’t wanna have to explain one more time on my blog. However. because it is a living breathing part of my daily life….I will share some things from time to time about this least-favorite subject.