I never wrote one single prescription for myself. I assumed that whatever prescriptions I got were because he knew what he was doing. I had no idea I was supposed to be supervising him. It was enough of a job just to live life with pain swirling around my body and mind for years and years. I just blindly followed along behind.
And that is now going to end my life. The medical folks never came up with any treatment means for FM. They created man made chemicals they called solutions so that they could become zillionairs. But cures are not being sought for this very lucrative disorder.
Josef Mengele has nothing over my doctors. I can’t even get an appointment with my primary care doctor right away. It takes two months at least. I cannot go look for a FM doctor that knows anything more to do for my malady. Because I need a doctor to make a referral.
I got a referral today I found out. To the great Dr. G. Only I found out too that he is the Russian doctor I saw years ago in Dr. Keller’s office. The single most dysfunctional and cold medical office on the west coast. Dr. G’s accent is so thick I never understood anything he was saying to me and when I asked for clarification he got very irritated at me as if his accent was my fault. I wonder if he even has a license to practice medicine in the USA?
And Dr. Smith the appointment and first referral told me Tuesday that he does not treat FM……….after I waited and wasted three weeks waiting for this appointment. So now there is not enough time to find help before November 1st. And no one cares.
I will not go through withdrawal and seizures again. I am taking charge now. I am tired and I don’t want to play this life game anymore. All done. Put a fork in me; ding ding. All done. I will not be going to a hospital again where they make things worse and never ever listen to what I say and know about my body.
And yes I am still angry. I have to move past that because anger can make a person still want to keep going. And I don’t want that. This all has to stop. I do not deserve this humiliation, terror, stress and fear. I simply have not done that much bad stuff.